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Saturday, April 30, 2011
It has been a long time since i posted, and in that time, many things have happened too, some good, some bad. But there is always a reason to give thanks of course. I realised 3 main things
1. I have not been keeping up my spiritual life
2. I pretty much screwed up alot of areas of my life during my pri-sec 2 years.
3. I pretty am not much of a leader after all.
The third point is the hardest truth to accept also. But i must accept it and go either ways: Give it up, or improve. It goes either way, because i do not want to be a bad leader.
After all, i have worked so hard to get here, am i am working even harder to achieve my goals: to attend the 2 camps in June, and also to free up more time so that i can do something for the Board. To achieve that, i know that my results have to be very good. With good meaning everything above 75 for every subject in my father's definition. -.-. That is impossible, as with the difficulty of Sec 3. At the very most i think i can get an A2 at most. Thus i have to rely on my class position. I know that no less than under 12 will give me the freedom i want to be granted by my father. And this thought alone has spurred me through the wilderness of new disciplines such as A maths, and the pure sciences. The vision of the future memories, coupled with old memories, serves to me as the greatest motivation for success, over riding the want for DOTA and for television, among others. The moment i feel like closing the book before its time, the visions pull me back harder, and once again i sink into processing yet more information.
But even through this ordeal i realise i can be more disciplined. And i realised that with the correct motivation, i can work for what i know i want. But because of academics also, i have sacrificed several other areas of my life too. One of them being social, the other being recreational. But i am still thankful for my friends out there who has constantly been there for me. I thank you all sincerely from the deepest of my hearts, there is nothing more that i may ask for.
And now coming back to the event that eventually had me questioning myself, and doubting myself. I was caught climbing on the rock wall without safety gear, a result of an overwhelming desire to complete the 6a route. The consequences were dire, a one month suspension from the thing that i have been most working hard for. Nothing can express what i am currently feeling now, i do not blame anyone but myself. I only hope that this event will be revealed to as less of the school population as possible only. I hope this one month will pass by quickly, and i will have no doubt it will with the exams taking up half of that month. And on my birthday, 26 May, i will get it back.
But what's the use of getting it back if i am not going to do what i have to do?
Surely i have to improve myself.
1. Do my duties on time
2. Get to know other SLs better
3. Do something significant for the Board.
Without all these, i will never be able to put it on again proudly. This is a battle for myself to get better, and only under this conditions will i thrive, the road is hard, the journey is long and the way is tough, but the rewards are great, satisfactory and everlasting. Pushing on, i can also realise that i can do so much more that i can.
That is also why i decided to take up rockclimbing in the first place: To discover that i can do so much more. And already the first target is resonating throughout the hollows of my mind, growing louder as the day draws nearer. To climb a 6a route before my birthday. There is only 26 days left, and only probably 3-4 work sessions before the actual try. Coupled with persistent finger joint injuries that have are not recovering well. I only can use the exam period to recover before training all out for that faithful day. Although it seems impossible, i know i can do so much more. and that is what i have set out for.
1. I have not been keeping up my spiritual life
2. I pretty much screwed up alot of areas of my life during my pri-sec 2 years.
3. I pretty am not much of a leader after all.
The third point is the hardest truth to accept also. But i must accept it and go either ways: Give it up, or improve. It goes either way, because i do not want to be a bad leader.
After all, i have worked so hard to get here, am i am working even harder to achieve my goals: to attend the 2 camps in June, and also to free up more time so that i can do something for the Board. To achieve that, i know that my results have to be very good. With good meaning everything above 75 for every subject in my father's definition. -.-. That is impossible, as with the difficulty of Sec 3. At the very most i think i can get an A2 at most. Thus i have to rely on my class position. I know that no less than under 12 will give me the freedom i want to be granted by my father. And this thought alone has spurred me through the wilderness of new disciplines such as A maths, and the pure sciences. The vision of the future memories, coupled with old memories, serves to me as the greatest motivation for success, over riding the want for DOTA and for television, among others. The moment i feel like closing the book before its time, the visions pull me back harder, and once again i sink into processing yet more information.
But even through this ordeal i realise i can be more disciplined. And i realised that with the correct motivation, i can work for what i know i want. But because of academics also, i have sacrificed several other areas of my life too. One of them being social, the other being recreational. But i am still thankful for my friends out there who has constantly been there for me. I thank you all sincerely from the deepest of my hearts, there is nothing more that i may ask for.
And now coming back to the event that eventually had me questioning myself, and doubting myself. I was caught climbing on the rock wall without safety gear, a result of an overwhelming desire to complete the 6a route. The consequences were dire, a one month suspension from the thing that i have been most working hard for. Nothing can express what i am currently feeling now, i do not blame anyone but myself. I only hope that this event will be revealed to as less of the school population as possible only. I hope this one month will pass by quickly, and i will have no doubt it will with the exams taking up half of that month. And on my birthday, 26 May, i will get it back.
But what's the use of getting it back if i am not going to do what i have to do?
Surely i have to improve myself.
1. Do my duties on time
2. Get to know other SLs better
3. Do something significant for the Board.
Without all these, i will never be able to put it on again proudly. This is a battle for myself to get better, and only under this conditions will i thrive, the road is hard, the journey is long and the way is tough, but the rewards are great, satisfactory and everlasting. Pushing on, i can also realise that i can do so much more that i can.
That is also why i decided to take up rockclimbing in the first place: To discover that i can do so much more. And already the first target is resonating throughout the hollows of my mind, growing louder as the day draws nearer. To climb a 6a route before my birthday. There is only 26 days left, and only probably 3-4 work sessions before the actual try. Coupled with persistent finger joint injuries that have are not recovering well. I only can use the exam period to recover before training all out for that faithful day. Although it seems impossible, i know i can do so much more. and that is what i have set out for.
Jesusfreak at 7:47 AM
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Memories of homecoming 2011. :)
Happened last Saturday.
Came to school at around 7 to play basketball with vincent. Came early at about 6.55 and chatted with eugene, xinying and a few others. Then vincent came about 7.15 with the other NP people. Vincent looked pretty serious. We had a good 11 ball game. In which i almost lost 9-11. Still it was a good match, he improved alot, fake me quite a few times. Then headed back to class do carry stuff~.Most of my time spent at homecoming was pretty much at my own class store. Haha. Epic stuff happened too
First we ran out of Soda once, so we ran out to get some, then we ran out of cups. And we had to use bowls as cups :O. We ran out of soda quite a number of times too. And so we came back with more. There was a time when we used plain water for buffer while waiting for Soda to arrive haha :) Remember marcus's shouting :). Then we ran out of ice, so we had to make do without it. There were alot of improvisations along the way. First we used a small bowl, then we used a big bowl too :O! Quite funny overall. Took some pictures too. Then after that, went to play basketball with np people at sengkang court. Played for awhile only before it started to rain so we moved updoors. Played dai di there and also a 4v4 match against strong players whom we lost 4-7. Still it was a good effort and a good game. Then went to have dinner at KFC before heading home to study some.
Saturday 16 April 2011.
Went to my first investiture at Peicai. It was a really good experience overall. Wore a suit and blazer for first time. wonder if i look funny in it :O
Sunday 17 April 2011
Woke up early at 6.40 to study some before heading to kovan to participate in volleyball in parry hall sports day with the c boys and c girls. Went to macs first where we studied. Then rushed to parry hall cause we might have been disqualified as we must reach by 8.40. We played 4 matches. We won the first 3 match by small margins but lost the last match 25-21. Should have been more bao wo. Then played for fun a little before collecting the prize. Which was a medal and some certificates. Overall had quite a good sweat and fun time there. Hoped bonded a little. Then after that we went to compass point where i got my guitar strings. And then headed home for a nap where i begin my sad life of studying until now.
Hope that better days are to come and that i might slowly be able to improve my attitude towards everything in everything i do. Hope that i will be able to strengthen my faith too :)
Happened last Saturday.
Came to school at around 7 to play basketball with vincent. Came early at about 6.55 and chatted with eugene, xinying and a few others. Then vincent came about 7.15 with the other NP people. Vincent looked pretty serious. We had a good 11 ball game. In which i almost lost 9-11. Still it was a good match, he improved alot, fake me quite a few times. Then headed back to class do carry stuff~.Most of my time spent at homecoming was pretty much at my own class store. Haha. Epic stuff happened too
First we ran out of Soda once, so we ran out to get some, then we ran out of cups. And we had to use bowls as cups :O. We ran out of soda quite a number of times too. And so we came back with more. There was a time when we used plain water for buffer while waiting for Soda to arrive haha :) Remember marcus's shouting :). Then we ran out of ice, so we had to make do without it. There were alot of improvisations along the way. First we used a small bowl, then we used a big bowl too :O! Quite funny overall. Took some pictures too. Then after that, went to play basketball with np people at sengkang court. Played for awhile only before it started to rain so we moved updoors. Played dai di there and also a 4v4 match against strong players whom we lost 4-7. Still it was a good effort and a good game. Then went to have dinner at KFC before heading home to study some.
Saturday 16 April 2011.
Went to my first investiture at Peicai. It was a really good experience overall. Wore a suit and blazer for first time. wonder if i look funny in it :O
Sunday 17 April 2011
Woke up early at 6.40 to study some before heading to kovan to participate in volleyball in parry hall sports day with the c boys and c girls. Went to macs first where we studied. Then rushed to parry hall cause we might have been disqualified as we must reach by 8.40. We played 4 matches. We won the first 3 match by small margins but lost the last match 25-21. Should have been more bao wo. Then played for fun a little before collecting the prize. Which was a medal and some certificates. Overall had quite a good sweat and fun time there. Hoped bonded a little. Then after that we went to compass point where i got my guitar strings. And then headed home for a nap where i begin my sad life of studying until now.
Hope that better days are to come and that i might slowly be able to improve my attitude towards everything in everything i do. Hope that i will be able to strengthen my faith too :)
Jesusfreak at 7:54 AM
Monday, April 4, 2011
Saturday 2nd April.
Got up early for the chairman and vice chairman training.
It was overall quite interesting but boring. Boring cause i was quite stoned and didnt take part in the games haha. Took some photos for fun too. Especially of the obstacle game. Ended at around 10.40. Then went out to eat lunch with yi chan, nerrisa, ivan and jasper. Was a very fun meal and had a good chat. Then went back to school at around 11.50 to learn dance from joey. Wasn't really successful, didnt learn any new moves but only familiarised myself with the tutting part. Ahh, its so complicated and fast. But i know it will be a good challenge for myself.
Then went back home to rest for awhile before going to church. :) Decided to sign up for apologetics course to know more people. Very tiring day, managed to squeeze 2 hours of work in before sleeping
Sunday 3rd April
Got up at 7.50 by body clock to do some work. Left house at around 8.45 to dump books at nex library. Beautiful sky garden man. Before meeting raymond, helfi and lionel at serangoon mrt to go to yishun for rockclimbing. At the reception counter one guy took about 30 mins, so delayed us. Started at around 11.15. Completed the routes which i did not complete last time, at least all but one. I plan to try to complete that route and all the blue taped routes on the first level before my birthday. And also
try to use technique > power. Then went nex library before concluding a tiring day at home
Today 4th april Monday.
Woke up with forearms strained and fingers unable to clench properly, expected after yesterday's rockclimbing session. Spent a time in school waiting for 10.15 to be released.
Match.
We played Shuqun for the 3/4 placing finals after we lost to st hilda's 3-1 the previous thursday. Played the last part of the first set. Scored 1 shortball when i went in ^^. But we won the set.
Didnt start in the second set, but subbed in around the middle. then subbed out again cause blocking too slow. We lost the set...
Started the third set. Just went out and played my game, my crazy style. Cheered like mad. BUt it was fun overall. Was feeling high and pumped up. Every jump felt smooth and i could feel myself hanging in the air. The blocking wasnt so good though cause their zu gong set was really fast. Couldnt catch up sometimes. We fought really hard and won the 3rd set. Won 2 points from shortball. 1 was a left hand haha
4th set, started also, but didnt perform as well as the previous 2 sets. We foughtthe hardest for this set, the score was evenly matched until the end, when we finally won 27-25 and clinched the third place.
OVerall a really enjoyable game in a long time, cause hasnt been playing since my injury. Was really good. And we got 3rd. I want next year get champion though.
Got up early for the chairman and vice chairman training.
It was overall quite interesting but boring. Boring cause i was quite stoned and didnt take part in the games haha. Took some photos for fun too. Especially of the obstacle game. Ended at around 10.40. Then went out to eat lunch with yi chan, nerrisa, ivan and jasper. Was a very fun meal and had a good chat. Then went back to school at around 11.50 to learn dance from joey. Wasn't really successful, didnt learn any new moves but only familiarised myself with the tutting part. Ahh, its so complicated and fast. But i know it will be a good challenge for myself.
Then went back home to rest for awhile before going to church. :) Decided to sign up for apologetics course to know more people. Very tiring day, managed to squeeze 2 hours of work in before sleeping
Sunday 3rd April
Got up at 7.50 by body clock to do some work. Left house at around 8.45 to dump books at nex library. Beautiful sky garden man. Before meeting raymond, helfi and lionel at serangoon mrt to go to yishun for rockclimbing. At the reception counter one guy took about 30 mins, so delayed us. Started at around 11.15. Completed the routes which i did not complete last time, at least all but one. I plan to try to complete that route and all the blue taped routes on the first level before my birthday. And also
try to use technique > power. Then went nex library before concluding a tiring day at home
Today 4th april Monday.
Woke up with forearms strained and fingers unable to clench properly, expected after yesterday's rockclimbing session. Spent a time in school waiting for 10.15 to be released.
Match.
We played Shuqun for the 3/4 placing finals after we lost to st hilda's 3-1 the previous thursday. Played the last part of the first set. Scored 1 shortball when i went in ^^. But we won the set.
Didnt start in the second set, but subbed in around the middle. then subbed out again cause blocking too slow. We lost the set...
Started the third set. Just went out and played my game, my crazy style. Cheered like mad. BUt it was fun overall. Was feeling high and pumped up. Every jump felt smooth and i could feel myself hanging in the air. The blocking wasnt so good though cause their zu gong set was really fast. Couldnt catch up sometimes. We fought really hard and won the 3rd set. Won 2 points from shortball. 1 was a left hand haha
4th set, started also, but didnt perform as well as the previous 2 sets. We foughtthe hardest for this set, the score was evenly matched until the end, when we finally won 27-25 and clinched the third place.
OVerall a really enjoyable game in a long time, cause hasnt been playing since my injury. Was really good. And we got 3rd. I want next year get champion though.
Jesusfreak at 4:41 AM