Monday, August 22, 2011

I have to learn to trust in God more. To trust in him to deliver me from trespasses. God be the solution. But only if we trust in him. Many times i run into trouble, lose stuff, or screw up, first thing i do is try to correct the problem myself, but God reminds me to turn to him first, utter a quick prayer, it puts my mind at ease, and ideas come easier, sometimes things even settle back into place.

I'm learning to fall back onto God, not only when all else fails, but everytime of my life. I think its not fair that i only turn to God only when i'm down and out, and not when i am living well. Nobody likes being somebody else's second plan, it just isnt fair to anyone. What if i am God's second plan too? Like that i wont even be who i am now, i will be some run away kid already. God is great indeed.

Some say that do unto others what u want others to do unto you.. What if i seek others friendships but it just doesnt reciprorate. What if i wait for people but the opposite isnt true? Maybe im just thinking too much, after all every situation is different, and for the other party the situation would not be favourable for him.

Why do i keep turning to others and wish i have their life, i should be content with my own life. I have 3 meals a day, and clothing and all basic neseccities, actually in fact 5 meals a day, alot of clothing i dun need and most things i want. But what i look at others for is freedom, because my parents always limit this area of my life. I want freedom, at least to undertake some decisions like overnight stays and stuff. Why cant they allow me? Why don't they trust me? Why are they so protective of me? Its love, but i just cant seem to accept it, why do i live in a nutshell head.... Why am i so stubborn?

Recently nowadays i have been doing less and less work. I think im overcomplacent and overconfident of my own knowledge. I should really pull up my socks once again at least so i dun fall behind too much. I just hope to not drop too much from my current position ba, but i think that today's trigo test is a revelation for me cause i never did it well. I left 8/35 marks blank. Means no A2 comfirmed. I just hope to get a B3, and work hard for the next test. Currently now im only studying for tests, at least i hope to score well in my tests so exams not so stress le. Right now i just want to complete my experiences list, in which i write all the stuff that i would like to experience by the end of this year, hope i can complete it! And plus more!

All the best to everyone out htere!